Double Secret Probation: University of Texas Austin Sacks Defenseless Robert E. Lee Statue In 2 a.m. Panty Raid


Panty raids used to be a right of passage on college campuses. Now wearing panties is a prerequisite to graduate. Or at least to work in a university administration.

The uber-liberal deans in the ivory towers of the University of Texas, Austin waited until all the coeds returning for the new semester were asleep in their beds or passed out cold early Monday morning.

It was then, at 2 am in Texas, when they slinked a rented boom lift onto the Main Mall and plucked the large statue of Confederate President & General Robert E. Lee from its perch.

And just like that, General Lee was no more. Whisked off like a freshman’s bra at her first fraternity party. Neither Lee nor the south’s legacy will likely rise again in these parts of campus. After weathering countless battles in the Civil War, decades of students stumbling on the campus mall, and the occasional pair of coed’s underwear draped on his head, General Lee is now a defenseless victim of liberal collegiate dogma.

Plucked up and carted away by a rented boom lift, draped in lifting straps the same color as the Union Army’s uniform no less. All on Texan’s tax dollars. Subsidized stupidity. Lee is one of four statues the snowflakes at the college are relocating far away from the main mall and regular foot traffic.Student leaders, likely jacked up on triple lattes, demanded the statues be moved from the mall. And university administration complied.

The statue of Lee and his buddies are actually getting off lucky here. At least they aren’t in neck-high student debt and perhaps in their new — albeit stealthier — location they won’t get humped in the middle of the night. Or vomited on. Or both.


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