Schlichter: Burn Down the DOJ and Start Over


I want you to tell me, without bursting into laughter, that I am still supposed to respect our federal law enforcement institutions. I keep hearing about these wonderful keepers of norms and rules and stuff deserve our awe, and then I see the tawdry, self-serving and scummy way they operate, and gee – there’s a disconnect. A big one. If the price of our society is submitting to these corrupt and incompetent people of garbage, well, then I say burn it all down.

That’s the only way to save it: to level it and start over.

Let’s review how our guardians of justice have covered themselves in glory in recent days. And by “glory,” I mean “Scat Francisco sidewalk sauce.”

The scumbag Democrat donors remaining in the Mueller lynch mob decided that Roger Stone, an absolutely harmless gadfly whose real crime was being aligned with Donald Trump and therefore with you, should be sent away for seven to nine years for “crimes” that the Department of Injustice promptly gave a pass on to the loathsome Andrew McCabe. This is the same institution that also gave a pass to Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit, Comey the Looming Doofus, and those fugly FBI sexting twins.

You would not get a pass.

Then, if possible, it got worse as the garbage Stone conviction was revealed to have been obtained with an anti-Trump Democrat activist as the jury foreperson. Think about that – an active partisan on the jury. The judge – wanna guess who appointed her? – refused to dump this partisan off the jury because of course, a Democrat candidate for office could be neutral and how dare you question the integrity of the system harrumph harrumph harrumph.

Please tell me more about rules and norms.

Stone’s lawyers are seeking a new trial, but they won’t get one because there is manifestly a dual-track system of “justice” and there will be a bunch of excuses and reasons and exclamations of “How dare you question the system’s integrity!” and, in the end, this manifest injustice will be okay because railroading political enemies of the establishment is not an aberration. It is an objective.

I could continue about Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn and that disgraceful persecution, and others, but this is a column and not a book.

Now, in a system where the kind of integrity our garbage federal law enforcement apparatus likes to pretend it possesses actually existed, Roger Stone’s lawyers would have arrived at federal court, new trial motion in hand, only to find the outraged prosecutors already there demanding – demanding – that the court vacate this fatally flawed conviction on their own motion. See, because the goal of the Department of Justice is justice, and…and…and…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sometimes I crack myself up. I’m hilarious.

I like Bill Barr. I think he wants to do the right thing. But he needs to spare us the clichés about the hard-working and honest DOJ staff because that’s not what we see. I trust Barr, but I trust my eyes more, and all I see issuing from his Department is a flow of raw sewage. And don’t tell me “But they convicted Avenatti!” because Avenatti was not a friend to the establishment. He was a threat, an uppity outsider who smarmed his way into position to potentially cut in the line for power. Yeah, the Democrats were totally broken up for him to be taken out.

I’d have fired the Mueller hind-sniffs who tried to set-up the president by recommending the seven-to-nine year stretch. Alternatively, I’d fire them just for that recommendation. It was absolute Schiff when rapists, thugs, and other Democrat constituents regularly coast out of court with much less time. Wait, I thought we had a non-violent convict incarceration crisis, but I guess that doesn’t apply to political crimes, the most serious crimes of all apparently. No, they won’t get fired. They will keep on ruining lives.

They have failed to meet the minimum standards for integrity. You owe them nothing, not obedience, respect, or assistance. Don’t give them any.

You have no reason to cooperate with any of them if they come asking you questions. You’re a fool to do so – they seek to harm you, so you should protect yourself. Stone is where he is because he foolishly chose to testify.

When a federal law enforcement asks you anything, repeat after me:

“I invoke my right to remain silent. Please stop asking me questions. I want my lawyer.”

“Uh, I was just asking you if there’s a coffee shop around here.”

“I invoke my right to remain silent. Please stop asking me questions. I want my lawyer.”

And when you are in court on a jury, and the prosecutor attempts to stand in the golden glow of the United States of America, remember what the prosecutors did to innocent people for daring to dissent and give that lawyer no credit or benefit of the doubt. Listen closely and carefully to the accused. There was a time when an accused claiming he was framed by the feds could be laughed off; now, you should consider it. Ask Ted Stevens – oh wait, he died after a corrupt conviction. Do not hesitate to acquit, because the Department of Justice has proven itself corrupt and dishonest.

“But, but, but, many hard-working, honest blah blah blah blah….”

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