NASA Totally Swears It Is Not Brutally Enslaving Children On Mars
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has denied that the federal government is secretly operating a child-slave ring on Mars.
The official NASA denial came on Thursday, shortly after a guest on the Alex Jones Show informed Jones, America’s superstar conspiracy theorist, about the possible existence of enslaved children on the markedly cold, carbon dioxide-ridden planet some 34.8 million miles from Earth.
“There are no humans on Mars,” NASA spokesman Guy Webster claimed, according to The Washington Post.
“There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are, but there are no humans.”
The guest on Jones’s show, Robert David Steele, peddled a much different and much more elaborate set of facts.
“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” Steele explained.
It’s not clear why the abductors would choose a 20-year term for the child slaves and not, say, a 40-year term or a lifetime term. It’s also unclear what goods or services the child slaves would be engaged in producing for their government masters.
In any case, “once they get to Mars, they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony,” Steele says.
Jones interrupts at this point.
“I’m told by high-level NASA engineers that — you have no idea — there’s so much stuff going on,” Jones enthusiastically relates.
“But then it goes off into all that. I mean, you know, that’s the kind that the media jumps on. But I know this: We see a bunch of mechanical wreckage on Mars and people say, you know, oh, it looks like a mechanics thing. ‘Oh, you’re a conspiracy theorist!’ Clearly, they don’t want us looking into what’s happening. Every time probes go over, they turn them off.”
The exchange between Jones and Steele about the possibility of a Mars child enslavement ring was part of a larger discussion which included pedophilia, vampires and various sex crimes. The Mars part begins at about the 2:50 mark in the video below.
Jones makes his living by espousing conspiracy theories on the radio and on YouTube. He has challenged actor Alec Baldwin to a fistfight. In April, he called Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff a “son of a bitch” and a “piece of shit.” He also threatened to beat Schiff’s “goddamn ass.”
In court records involving a fight with his ex-wife over custody of his children, Jones has said his conspiracy-peddling persona is a shtick.
In March, Jones apologized for his role in promoting a conspiracy theory which holds that Clinton operative John Podesta was leading a child sex trafficking ring out of a Washington, D.C. restaurant called Comet Pizza. A man from North Carolina, Edgar Maddison Welch, responded to the conspiracy allegations by traveling to the pizzeria, brandishing a rifle and shooting it three times.
Jones is also among the conspiracy theorists who have alleged that the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre was a government-perpetrated hoax.
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has denied that the federal government is secretly operating a child-slave ring on Mars. The official NASA denial came on Thursday, shortly
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