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Politics

Cult Of Harambe Demands White House Name Warship After Cherished Gorilla

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An online petition has been created on the official White House petitions page, demanding that the United States Naval Ship Harvey Milk be renamed the “USS Harambe.”

Harambe the gorilla was an unarmed, peaceful being who was unjustly murdered by fascist zookeepers, determined to ensure that primates are not given their fundamental, constitutional rights. He was accused of attacking a child, when all video footage confirms that Harambe (pbuh) was in fact trying to bring the child into his warm, protecting embrace. We should all be so lucky to feel the presence of this gentle giant — now watching over us from above.

The author of the petition sets out a list of comprehensive and persuasive arguments for the proposal. “While there is no doubt that Harvey Milk died in the service of his country, his contribution to American history pales in comparison to the Silverback magnificence that was Harambe. Harambe who gave his life in a volley of friendly fire.” – READ MORE

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